Sibling Rivalry

I remember when my girls were in high school and even though we never did the cheerleader thing we were captivated by the tryout process, prep process, jackets, uniforms, shoes, bows, really big bows, and everything else that screamed TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADER IN DA HOUSE!!! But, like I said, we weren’t in that arena, but loved watching.  My heart broke one year when a pair of sisters were trying out for the same squad.  One a freshman. One a sophomore.  You guessed it.  The freshman made the team.  The sophomore did not.  

I remember praying for the mom because her job was hard.  Rejoicing with the winner, consoling the “loser”, if you will.  Life lessons are hard to digest some days.  They just are. Especially within the family unit.

Rejoicing for other’s accomplishments within the family is supposed to be natural and automatic. But let’s face it, we are hardest on each other.  We love hard and we fight hard. We know each other’s weaknesses and shortcomings and prey on those when it benefits us.  The family dynamic is tricky some days.  

It’s important for us to remember that God created the family as THE primary teaching environment.  We learn most in family.  Family is everything outside of our relationship with Jesus Christ.  So understanding we need to fight FOR each other is important.  God’s word is clear…

“You shall teach these to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” Deuteronomy 11:19

Teach what? The ways of the Lord.  His word and His law.  When moms would ask me about sibling rivalry issues or kiddos not getting along and treating each other disrespectfully, I would simply reply, “Ok, yes.”  Yes.  The family dynamic is a struggle some days.  What are you going to do to fight for you family? What are you going to do to teach the ways of the Lord to your children? Will you accept rivalry and jealousy even though they do not represent Jesus Christ? Or will you teach your children about the ways of the Lord and the fruit of the Spirit and what the spirit filled life looks like?  

I am not trying to minimize this issue at all.  But I do want to encourage moms to BE the person they want their kids to be.  Many times we’re too tired to deal with the problem du jour.  Sitting down and having sibling rivalry discussions places a level of importance on them and that is half the battle.  Sit down.  Look your kiddos eyeball to eyeball and let them know it’s unacceptable.  “God put us together.  Do you trust Him?” Let’s fight for each other and not tear each other apart.  

What are you doing to promote unity? I think that is key.  Family time, devotions, prayer time, church attendance, all lead to unity.  I would also recommend a family calendar displayed prominently in the home somewhere for all to see.  When each family member sees what the others have going on, it helps promote compassion and understanding.  

We also tried to serve each other when possible.  “How can I serve you today?” would often be heard through our family.  Please understand I had to teach this to my girls.  It didn’t come naturally.  But eventually they got it.  

We have to fight for our family today.  They are worth it.  Stop, talk, look your children eyeball to eyeball.  Have hard conversations.  Do family. - Lisa Clark 

Lisa’s parenting journey began over 25 years ago, but it wasn’t until she started teaching Bible studies at Prestonwood Baptist Church that she heard from the Lord That “Parenting” was her niche.  He had given her a word about biblical parenting.  So she started the process of teaching and encouraging moms throughout the Dallas area.  That led her to partner with Sky Ranch Christian Camps in 2007 and the development of the SkyMoms Ministry with her friend and Sky Ranch CEO, Linda Paulk. 

Lisa has a unique teaching style that couples humor with personal stories of raising her own two daughters and biblical insights.  Grounded in God’s Word, Lisa has a passion for encouraging moms in the day to day struggles of parenting preteens and teens.  

Lisa is married to Brad, her husband of 28 years.  They have two daughters, Caroline (25) who is married to Brent Russell, a college pastor in Norman, OK and Camryn (21) who is a junior at Baylor University.  They currently reside in Frisco, TX.