5 Heart Questions to use when Discipling Girls
Often we make discipleship about getting together for a cup of coffee, flex our spiritual muscle, and share everything we know. Yes, teaching and training are involved, but discipleship is not "sit still while I instill." Allow for discovery by asking questions.
Truth that isn’t applied is a truth that will not be obeyed. Jesus always went for the heart. Here are some great questions as you go for the heart the girl that you are discipling:
1. What is something you are praying for?
This is a great question to know how you need to teach and model prayer. Whether you pray 5 minutes or 5 hours a day, we can all be sharpened and learn something new or be reminded of something needed when we talk to God. Maybe the answer will reveal that your girls’ prayers are too small; they only request help with material needs- homework, sore throat, nicer car. Maybe the answer will reveal a girl who talks to God often, but she mostly talks about her world and doesn’t spend time adoring His majesty. Whatever this question reveals, ask God for discernment and creativity to teach and model prayer.
2. Have you talked about Christ to anyone lately?
This question can feel condemning if not followed up with the encouragement that talking about Christ isn’t something we have to do but something we get to do. If the answer is yes, celebrate! And, pray for the person she shared with together. If the answer is no, encourage her to write down the names of 2 friends who are not Christians and 1 friend who is saved that she can share something with. Encourage her to start with praying for those 3 every day this week and to simply share how God answered a prayer or something you read.
3. How can I pray for you?
Like #1 this will show how you need to teach and model prayer and being self aware. It is very easy to compare our “small sins” to someone’s “big sins.” An answer that does not start with comparing their sin to someone else’s shows they take their sin seriously and don’t think it is “small” no matter how “small” it may seem. Even in my heart, this is a good check to see: do I start with knowing God more, loving others more, or a heart sin (pride, jealousy, etc) or do I minimize my sin or needs?
4. What is something God has told you lately in His Word?
I used to ask, “What is something God has shown you lately.” I don’t know why but 100% of the time girls would say patience. “Oh, he’s just telling me to be more patient.” “Oh, I need to work on my patience.” When I changed it to add “His Word” if they said patience (ha) or something vague I would say, great…where did you read that? You’re holding them accountable to be in His Word and you're setting the expectation that the primary place God speaks is from His Word.
5. What is something you love about God?
Remember that above anything, God wants our hearts. We are so quick to forget that. He warns against leaving our first…love. This question is great, because it will show what kind of God they serve. Do they think that God serves them or do they serve God?
I’m so thankful that we serve a God who doesn’t look on the exterior but looks at the heart. Let’s love as Christ did and pray for their hearts, see the needs in their hearts, and allow them to see how they can change for the glory of God from the inside out. - Amy